Friday, July 1, 2011

Another rap...review/feedback?

I'm no where near amazing but...

It's a different style so if you like radio rap...this isn't for you.

Bleeding passion onto the pages holdin these bars
Open up my heart, no scalpel no scars. Need some
Healin so I turn to the pen, chest getting tighter I can't breathe
again.
I'm on the bottom of the heap, Heavin prayers from the mouth of a
heathen.
Needin a reason to hold my head up, feels like my neck is sleepin.
My back is creakin, ready to break in a second, the bad thoughts creep

In, my mind is infected. So I cry out and question what's got me so
restless
No answer from the stars, another rejection. Shit gets real hard when
I start
Reflectin, it's like my brain takes a trip to the valley of the
shadow of death and
Then it, plays these games, like cris angel's name, freakin me out
til I go insane.
And the, skies are crying about the rise in violence, and the wind
won't blow
Cause there's no control over the tears that flow from the injured
souls. The
Clouds turned gray because the kindness strayed, lost in the fire
burning in the minds
Of the tyrants, what's behind their eyelids has, turned to dirt like
the souls of the hurt,
Buried forever, can't work under the pressure, to stay breathing in
a sea of grieving.
We need the strong ones the bring back the light to the sun, but in
their way stand
The venomous tongues of the snakes and the serpents, who's only
purpose is to hurt
the cause, poisoning those involved. A child's bawling under the
crawlspace cause
In the place she stays, she gets hit in the face by a dad that thinks
she's only a waste.
And he drinks real bad because he's real sad over the murder of the
first child he had.
Wrong place, wrong time, lost his life to the nine, the one committing
the crime got away
Just fine. That guy got off real smooth, cause he's so cool, he just
made it into the crew.
When he was just 2 his mom was real rude, from then on he knew, he'd
never be loved
So he turned into a thug, and thought it was fun to carry a gun. The
circle is vicious, the
Aftermath's wicked. So now who's the victim? Mommy's lack of
love marked the birth of a thug
who killed someone's son, now father turns to the rum, and his girl
is bothered cause there's nowhere to run. Hearing the story ain't
fun, it can't be the only one like it. Think about the cause of the
fightin. Hatred and envy, stir up a frenzy ff anger which starts
dangerous chain reaction back stabbing, the fact is, it's massive.
The amount of poison which acts as a destroyer this of life as we know
it, just put a permanent hold on this coldness.
Idk if I really wanna get into recording...I hate the sound of my own
voice.. I have a friend who might though

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